Stay
by NikkiB1973
Summary: This story is set in the episode Endgame AU. Chakotay and Seven's fledgling romance is on the verge of turning serious. What will Chakotay's reaction be when he finds out about the Admiral's manipulation of Seven?
1. Chapter 1

**Stay**

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to their respective owners.

_**A/N-thank you to Scifiromance who kindly beta'd this chapter for me. This is set in the final season's episode 'Endgame.'**_

**Chapter One**

Chakotay strode purposefully into Astrometrics; he had a padd clutched tightly in his right hand, but this was merely a cover. There was nothing at all essential on there that he needed to pay a visit to Astrometrics for. Automatically he covertly glanced to the left of the corridor and then the right before entering. For some obscure reason he kept imagining Captain Janeway or her older alter ego, the Admiral, to loom suddenly in his line of vision. He had the odd feeling that both Janeway's past and present incarnations had begun to suspect there was something going on between her protégé and her first officer. So far Chakotay and Seven, both being of a private nature, had kept the fledging relationship under wraps, neither wanting to be in the spotlight and make themselves the subject of shipboard gossip. However with Chakotay's increasing visits to Astrometrics, on what even he had to agree were pretty flimsy pretexts, he worried that it was becoming obvious. Not because of any worries on his part about being found out, but he knew that Seven would find it hard to cope with any innuendoes or risqué jokes, that some of the more discerning of the crew would no doubt indulge in.

The double doors slid open to admit him and he walked smoothly inside. As always the first thing he saw was Seven herself standing rigidly in front of her console in the centre of the large room. The huge screen filled with data loomed large above her and he watched as her fingers flew over the padd which she had in front of her, already probably near the end of the project that the Captain had set for her about the nebula they had come across a few days before filled with Borg cubes, and the feasibility of finding the route home that the Admiral had travelled across time and space to propose to them. Right at this precise moment the Captain and her older self were locked in a heated argument over the fact that the Admiral had kept the transwarp corridor a secret and not told any of the crew a thing about it until they were deep inside Borg territory. Thankfully the new adaptive shielding that the Admiral had insisted they armour Voyager with before they made the attempt had held out, but for how long for no one could guess. The Borg were already adapting their own technology, the longer they delayed, the less chance they would have to get home.

Chakotay didn't know how he felt about the Captain's decision to make them backtrack and fly back out of the nebula. He knew that the crew was split down the middle about her decision. He was lingering on the fence. He understood her reasons for distrusting the Admiral but he was also chaffing at the bit to get home. The Admiral had given them a golden opportunity, now that slim chance may be snatched from them if the Captain delayed further, or tried her ambitious plan to use the future technology to destroy the transwarp network and deal the Borg a crippling blow.

All this ran through Chakotay's mind as he saw Seven turn her head to glance behind her. She arched an eyebrow and gave him a knowing smile. "My report is not yet ready."

Chakotay felt the tension leave his body at the sight of her. Her blonde hair glinted under the bright overhead lights and he found it reassuring the way she confidently walked around her little kingdom. He was following after her as she marched purposefully from one console to another, adding yet more data onto the padd she held in her hand.

"I confess I came here to check on you, not to collect your report. I heard about what happened." Chakotay's voice lowered as he enquired after her health. When he had first been told he had wanted to hurry to her side immediately, but he had been charged with keeping an eye on the Admiral. The Captain had gone in his stead to see Seven, and when she returned, had reported that she was fine and already back at her post. Chakotay had not been pleased with the dismissive way the Captain had spoke about what must have been a frightening experience for Seven, and the fact that she was back at work. He chided the Captain in front of her older self. This had not pleased Janeway at all. She flashed him an irritated glance, and when he looked at the Admiral, she seemed to have a smug smile on her face, as if she knew something her younger self did not. This gave Chakotay his first suspicion that she may know about his feelings for the former Borg.

Seven had no idea about his digression. Her own expression softened. Her blue eyes lost their customary cool exterior and she smiled at him gratefully. He loved seeing that smile. It softened her whole demeanour and showed him the vulnerable woman she was beneath her formality. "Honestly I am fine. You do not need to worry." She assured him.

"Let me be the judge of that." He teased her gently. He showed her the padd in his hand. "I am in charge of the duty rota after all, so if you wanted some extra time off..." he left the rest unsaid.

Seven arched her eyebrow again, her lips curling upward in an amused smile. "Wouldn't that be cheating to use our personal relationship to influence your decisions?"

Chakotay grinned. "You are right, crewman. Report?"

"Yes, Commander." Seven returned his grin with a languid smile of her own. She secretly adored the way he would gently tease her. He, more than anybody she knew, could get her to loosen her inhibitions and make her feel at ease. But that was perhaps just who Chakotay was. He wasn't just the first officer, he also doubled up as the crew's unofficial counsellor. He had a special skill at allowing others to talk about very private things and not come across as judgemental, something the Captain was never able to do. It had been a wise choice on Janeway's part to keep Chakotay close when he had first arrived on board as part of the Maquis. Now he and the Captain enjoyed a close, sometimes tense, but mostly cordial relationship. He was one of the few who could reign the Captain in when her plans became too ambitious.

They spoke briefly about what Seven had so far found and other inconsequential things that she had put in her report. Then their conversation turned to more personal matters. Chakotay took Seven's hand and pressed his warm fingers into her palm, tracing the webbed metal that encased her fingers. "What do you plan to do if we do get back to Earth?" He asked her.

Seven dipped her head and stared at the floor before raising her eyes back to his. "I suppose Star Fleet will want to debrief me then I hope to find a suitable position somewhere." She confessed. "And you?"

Chakotay nodded, his hold on her hand became stronger and she noticed his brown eyes were shining with an unusual measure of intensity. It took her breath away for a moment. The look lingered between them and when he finally spoke, his voice sounded loud in the silence. "I am not sure myself yet, but wherever I end up I hope, no, I know that it will be wherever you are."

Seven felt her throat close up with the intensity of her emotions. She couldn't even explain what she was feeling; a mixture of happiness and relief that he had been the first to express that this relationship was for the long term, and not just a brief dalliance, as she had feared in her more anxious moments. She gripped his hand just as tightly, her blue eyes moist with tears that she tried not to shed. Since her failsafe had been removed she found that her turbulent human emotions were harder to control. "I am glad." She managed to whisper.

Chakotay, who was beginning to know her intimate thoughts well, smiled at this muted reaction. He could tell by the look in her vivid blue eyes and the way she held onto his hand for dear life that his words had eased a fear that she had yet to confide in him. He had wanted to put their relationship on a firmer footing and he felt that his words had cemented something that had been hovering on the edges but had not been fully comprehended between them. Chakotay knew already in his own heart that one day Seven would be his wife.

* * *

><p>Seven was in Cargo Bay 2 ready to regenerate. She had delivered her report to the Captain and was looking forward to some rest. She was to meet up with Chakotay in a few hours and she wanted to be well rested so she was looking her best. The doors to the bay opened and to Seven's surprise the Admiral stalked inside. Her shiny helmet of grey hair seemed cemented to her head as she walked over to Seven with a sharp glint in her eyes and a determined grimace on her lips. Seven wondered if she had some complaint about the report she had delivered to the Captain.<p>

"Seven I need to speak to you." Was the Admiral's only greeting.

Her words made Seven stiffen slightly. She moulded her body into it's old formal pose; back ramrod straight and her hands clasped firmly behind her back. She would be as abrupt as the Admiral. "How can I be of assistance?" She asked formally.

"That is the Seven of Nine I know." The Admiral seemed pleased at seeing her former protégé acting as she always remembered her. Always ready to serve and perform her duties to perfection. It eased her troubled mind about what she was about to propose. "There is something I need to say."

"Please do, Admiral." Seven watched the Captain's older self begin to pace.

"This is not easy for me, Seven, so I will be blunt, I think we both prefer things this way." The Admiral stopped pacing and looked at Seven critically. "I need you to dissuade my rash younger self from what she is about to do. She listens to your advice and it would be detrimental to you if you didn't at least try."

"Detrimental to me?" Seven questioned, feeling apprehensive about what the Admiral was about to reveal.

"Yes. If you cannot persuade her to return to the nebula and go straight home without trying this insane plan she has devised against the Borg, then you would all still be stranded here and this would have terrible consequences for you and your relationship with the Commander." The Admiral admitted.

Seven felt like she had been dealt a huge body blow. One hand reached out to clutch onto one of the beams that held up the ceiling. Her heart began to race and she felt perspiration bead her brow. How did this woman know? She glanced up to see a sympathetic look cross the Admiral's face. "I cannot do what you ask." Seven managed to reply, her voice surprisingly steady considering the turmoil she felt inside.

"I am sorry to have been so blunt, Seven." The Admiral's voice was softer now. "But you have to see my side of things. If you do not stop the Captain's plans then you will die, and Chakotay..." she paused for a second. "Chakotay will soon follow."

_**A/N-thanks for reading and please review. **_


	2. Chapter 2

**Stay **

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to their respective owners.

_**A/N-I want to thank my beta on this chapter SCFIROMANCE who gave me such amazing advice, encouragement and help with this story! Nikki :)**_

**Part Two**

Chakotay rested his forehead against Seven's and watched as she closed her eyes in blessed relief. The burden she must have been carrying on her shoulders since her fraught conversation with the Admiral must have been unendurable. He felt anger well up in his gut, that he only just about managed to hide from Seven's curious eyes; she had opened them again and was studying him carefully.

"I was only thinking of you." She whispered.

Chakotay let out a small sigh as he caressed her face gently with his fingers. He saw a faint blush coat her cheeks and her vivid blue eyes widen as she tried to detect from his expression alone exactly what was going through his mind at that moment. He put his hand under her chin and raised her head a little as she ducked away from his stern gaze. Chakotay could already sense her unease returning. His assurances had still not stemmed the tide of doubt and worry that the Admiral had knowingly plunged Seven into. His anger increased exponentially. Seven had been used, there was no other term for it. Yes, the Admiral had probably thought she was doing the right thing to achieve her own aims and, in a way, assuage her own guilt about plunging Voyager and it's whole crew on this endless journey so many years ago, but that did not give the woman the right to manipulate Seven.

"Seven, listen to me. You were right to tell me. The Admiral was wrong to say those things to you. No future is certain. Whatever happens to either of us, even years from now, will be worth the journey in my eyes. Please say that you believe me?" Chakotay said earnestly.

The fierce intensity in his dark eyes and the way he stared into her own finally convinced Seven that he was sincere. Still, she held onto a fragment of guilt that she had been weak enough to allow herself to be persuaded to open up about what the Admiral had confided in her. Had she been selfish? Yes, most definitely. But on the other hand, who was she to decide Chakotay's fate? That was his decision alone. And he had made it firmly. He wanted a future with her, that was now very clear to her. No matter how frightening things could become for them, or the whole crew, as the journey into the unknown continued, Seven now knew that for the first time in her life, she would not be treading the path alone. Now she would have this strong man beside her. He would carry some of the burden that she wore around her like an invisible cloak. Whether it had been right or wrong, Seven was glad she had confided in him. To her that was a testament to the faith and trust she placed in him.

"I believe you." Seven whispered. Her eyes became moist although she managed not to shed any tears. Her metallic covered hand, a clear indicator of the Borg still within her, wrapped around his for a second time as she saw him incline his head toward hers as he leaned in for a kiss.

* * *

><p>Captain Janeway passed her older self a cup of black coffee. She watched in amusement as the Admiral bent her head over the metal cup and inhaled deeply. A beautific smile crossed the older woman's lined face as she closed her eyes and drank eagerly. The hot liquid burned her throat a little but it was worth it.<p>

"I cannot believe I ever gave this up." The Admiral sighed heavily as she took another sip.

"I suspect the Doctor had a hand in that decision. Would I be right?" Janeway took a long drink out of her own cup. "Now that is heaven."

"Agreed." The Admiral raised her cup in a toast. "To the journey home?"

"To the journey home." Janeway was in the midst of raising her own cup when the doors to her ready room swept open and Chakotay entered unannounced. It was unusual for her first officer to avoid protocol and not announce his arrival first, so she assumed it was a matter of urgency. "What is it, Commander?" She put her cup down and became all business.

"Excuse my abrupt arrival." Chakotay's eyes sought the Admiral's. He noted that the older woman seemed to already guess why he was here. Her iron grey hair glinted dully under the overhead lights as she avoided his gaze.

"At ease, Chakotay." Janeway could sense that something was very amiss, by the tense way he was standing and the look he was throwing the Admiral. She thought using his first name would make him relax but it only increased the stiffness around his shoulders.

"I need a word with the Admiral." Chakotay asked, he tried to keep his tone even, but he struggled. He saw the Captain eyeing him carefully. She was always good at reading his moods.

"Well we are both listening." Janeway swept her hand toward him, indicating for him to continue.

Chakotay looked at the Captain briefly. His jaw was clenched, a tic along his right cheek showed the tension in his muscles. "This is a personal matter, Captain. I was hoping for a private conversation."

Janeway raised her eyebrows. "Well as she is me and I am her, it seems that your point is moot, Commander." She used his formal title again. His request had irked her. Kathryn never liked being excluded, she'd tried her best to accept the necessity of it where her future self was concerned, but to get the same treatment from Chakotay hurt.

"No offence, Captain, but the Admiral is not like you at all. Her experiences have changed her. I think she is liable to do things now that you yourself would not permit. She has lived through things that you have not. Please, I rarely ask you for anything." Chakotay was finding it hard to plead. He hated it and it wasn't who he was. He did prefer the direct approach but he thought he would have extreme difficulty separating the Admiral from her younger self. He hoped that asking the Captain like this would soften her demeanour and make her step back and allow him the privacy he craved.

Kathryn looked between her first officer and the Admiral. The tension was palpable. She did not like being kept in the dark but Chakotay's approach worked. She backed down and nodded. "You have five minutes." She then marched out of the ready room leaving Chakotay and the Admiral alone.

* * *

><p>"You have spoken to Seven?" The Admiral said coolly as she finished her coffee.<p>

"Yes." Chakotay ground out.

"I am rather surprised that she told you. That is not the Seven I remember." The Admiral frowned and began to pace slowly. Her expression was thoughtful as she still avoided his eye.

"You underestimate her, as you have underestimated me." Chakotay snapped. "What right did you have to ask that of her? Do you know what torment you put her through? Playing on her guilt like that, it is unforgivable and not the actions of the woman I have come to know as my Captain."

The Admiral stiffened. She stopped pacing and raised her head to stare directly at him with her piercing eyes for the first time. Chakotay flinched, there was pure pain in her fierce gaze. He stepped back a little. "What you told the Captain was correct. She has not lived through what I have. She has not lost people that she cared about like I have, she has only touched the surface of what the Borg can and will do. I have seen things and had to do things that have turned my hair grey. This is not the result of ageing." She tapped the side of her head as she began to pace before him like a caged animal.

"I understand that you went through some incredibly fraught times but that does not excuse you." Chakotay would not be swayed.

"You understand nothing." The Admiral retorted. "I have spent years,_ years..." _her voice cracked a little as she continued speaking, " trying to rectify my mistakes." She again turned her agonised gaze onto Chakotay although it had hardened, as if challenging him to remind her what they were. Of course he remained silent and she continued in an eerily quiet, matter of fact voice. "I stranded us in this quadrant. I am responsible for putting you all here. I am the one who is responsible for every single death that occurred along the way." She sighed deeply, as if acknowledging her role so bluntly unburdened her. "I feel that guilt. I carry it daily." She murmured softly. "My burden is heavy. It eats away at me. So if I can get you all home quicker without sacrificing anymore I will." She hesitated before her next words, but they were even more defiant for it. " Even if I have to use Seven to do it." Her eyes flashed fire at him as she stood to her full height and stopped pacing.

Chakotay stared at her incredulously. The Admiral's cool demeanour had been stripped away to reveal the guilt ridden woman beneath. He could see the pain reflected in every line that was etched into her face. She seemed to shrink before him a little as she stepped back toward the replicator. "Coffee." She barked at it. "Black."

"No, I have not lived your life." Chakotay said softly. "But I would hope that if I had I would not make poor Seven pay again for the choices I made. You know it is wrong. I can see it must have wounded you to do it."

"I care for Seven greatly. She is the daughter I never had in a way. I moulded her into who she is and I miss her every day. Being able to see her again..." The Admiral's eyes became unfocused as she looked into the middle distance as if she was lost in memories.

Chakotay frowned a little. "I don't doubt for one moment that you love Seven. But she is her own person. She is an independent, beautiful young woman. You didn't mould her into who she is today. That is a testament to her own individuality and the strength that she carries inside. Do not drag her back into the guilt of her past because you are having trouble atoning for your own mistakes."

The Admiral's face turned pale as she watched Chakotay swiftly leave the room. His words were like barbs to her heart. She sat down on one of the chairs and gulped down the black coffee, hoping that the drink she so loved would offer her some respite from the nausea welling in her throat. But it failed. She choked on the hot liquid and ended up throwing it away. The Admiral stood up quickly when the Captain came back into the ready room.

"I need to see the Doctor."

Janeway was surprised at the state of the older woman. Whatever Chakotay had said it had really got under her skin. "Are you well?" She asked in concern.

The Admiral forced her lips into a weak smile. "Yes. There is something I must discuss with him. Nothing for you to worry about."

"It seems I am being kept in the dark a lot today." Janeway replied resentfully. "This is my ship."

"Yes." The Admiral said faintly. "But perhaps you should remember that you are not the only one who resides in it." With those parting words she left the room.

_**A/N-thanks for reading! Nikki :)**_


End file.
